I am a survivor. That has a nice little ring to it doesn’t it?! On the eve of my first follow-up CT-scan post chemo, I am healthy, young and a hopeful Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Survivor. In May 2011, I learned that the start of my 31 years of life would be filled with cancer. From the moment of being told I had cancer, to the 6 months of chemotherapy, and to the ever so interesting life of post treatment and the ongoing phase of recovery, the feeling of shock and disbelief never left. As a high-energy, constant life on the go kind of gal that I am that is completely devoted to family, friends and my career, I never let cancer take control of my life. I worked full-time throughout treatment, I lived my life like a 31 year old should. I laughed, I danced, and I continued to fight everyday. I blogged about my journey and found that it was a great release and allowed me to keep my friends and family updated. In my everyday life, I lived in the black and white. There was never a doubt that I wasn’t going to beat cancer. I did what I had to do to survive. But as I blogged, it was my moment to live in the grey. I exposed my fears, my uncertainties, but managed to showed people I was strong. My low moments brought on tears, hopelessness, fears, isolation and the feeling of being lost. I soon learned that greatest gift that was ever given to me was cancer. I know that is crazy to say but I have learned so much more than some may learn in their lifetime. I was given the opportunity to evaluate what was important to me in life. I saw different layers of beauty in people, my world and my soul. My family and friends lifted me up everyday. I made a promise to myself to slow down and smell the roses. I take a moment everyday to look at the sky and absorb the beauty and the ever-changing masterpiece the earth creates everyday. I close my eyes and take deep breaths and savor each breath that enters and escapes my body. I am alive today. I am real. I am grateful and loved. I am a real human. And I couldn’t ask for anything more.
