I was given a DVD and book called Crazy Sexy Cancer by my cousin Freeda and her hubby Ari. It's a story of a 31 y/o with an "incurable" cancer. She has 20+ tumors in her liver and both lungs. She explores alternative methods. Her treatment plan is "wait and see" and she will not receive chemo and radiation. She calls herself the "healing junkie". She ends up keeping her tumors stable with no signs of cancer by adapting a whole new diet (which basically consists of anything from Whole Foods). I started to read her book and Sheryl Crow has a few pages in their explaining her story. I relate to a few things she says in the foreword and I will share it with you...
"What I was forced to learn,...was to put myself first. To really honor myself by saying no to things I don't want to do. I have always been a pleaser of the most committed kind."
"My experience was about letting go. It was really experiencing all that was happening at the deepest emotional level, for that is where the big life changes occur. That is where you meet yourself...I don't believe you have to be diagnosed to come to these lessons, but sometimes these catastrophic moments in life force you to focus in on the immediate."
It's all about me right now!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Can I Get a BM!?
Bowel Movement that is! Ugh, if you can't handle poop, then skip this post. I haven't pooped since Monday. It is the most uncomfortable feeling. I was getting high-fives monday for having a BM but now I'm getting a "c'mon noreen, you can do it". The past few days have consisted of of Miralax and Dulcolax which should produce a GD poop! Today, I am drinking Magnesium Citrate, a "Sparkling Saline Laxative" as the bottle reads. 6 hours later, still no BM! Oh dear lord! Can I get a BM?!!
(video of me trying to "exercise" to get a BM, Minos making fun of me, Deb laughing, and To Be Loved playing in the background)
Monday, July 4, 2011
I'm too young for this....
June 22 2011
Round 2 of chemo. I am with my sister Helen and my bestie Rachel. I feel more comfortable this time around. I know what to expect. I am ready to get better. Diane, the nail polish nurse, didn't bring up my nail polish again, however she commented on my Toms and said those were some funky shoes. I love my Toms! My counts are low which is expected. My WBC dropped to 1.2 and my Neutrophils to 0.2. Normal range for theses are around 3.5- 10.5 and similar range for Neutrophils.
Anyway, I had the opportunity to get connected with another cancer patient. I call her my angel. Northwestern sets us up and we immediately connect. We learn we have mutual friends. She has Grey Zone Hodgkins. She had her last chemo round in May and is cancer free. She invites me to this event where cancer survivors speak out on June 23. I go with Amy. This is the day after chemo and I am feeling pretty good. I have a moment after they play a video of 20 and 30 year olds, cancer patients and cancer survivors. I cry. At this moment, I feel that I am closer to the reality of having cancer. I had cut my hair earlier that week and felt defeated in a way. Again, a step closer to the reality of all of this. It's all still new to me. I am sick. I have cancer. I am a cancer patient. It's weird saying because I often don't believe it. Then I say, I am so young. Why me? It's crazy that I am entering this new world of cancer. You become this VIP of life. There are so many people that have been touched with cancer. It's awful. This disease sucks! But we move on with our lives. I will soon say, I am a cancer survivor. And go about appreciating life even more. I look forward to that day but have been reminded to think in the moment. Focus on each day as it comes. I can't afford to waste energy on "what ifs", "how come", and "what will happen next."
The weekend after chemo, my symptoms kick in. Still no vomiting but extremely sore mouth and fatigue. It hurts to eat and drink. I am broken mentally because I hate how I feel. I speak to my angel, Jenna. She reminds again that it's ok to feel down. That this is a roller coaster. And that again, I should focus on each day and look for the life lessons that come along with it. I am so grateful that she is my angel.
Round 2 of chemo. I am with my sister Helen and my bestie Rachel. I feel more comfortable this time around. I know what to expect. I am ready to get better. Diane, the nail polish nurse, didn't bring up my nail polish again, however she commented on my Toms and said those were some funky shoes. I love my Toms! My counts are low which is expected. My WBC dropped to 1.2 and my Neutrophils to 0.2. Normal range for theses are around 3.5- 10.5 and similar range for Neutrophils.
Anyway, I had the opportunity to get connected with another cancer patient. I call her my angel. Northwestern sets us up and we immediately connect. We learn we have mutual friends. She has Grey Zone Hodgkins. She had her last chemo round in May and is cancer free. She invites me to this event where cancer survivors speak out on June 23. I go with Amy. This is the day after chemo and I am feeling pretty good. I have a moment after they play a video of 20 and 30 year olds, cancer patients and cancer survivors. I cry. At this moment, I feel that I am closer to the reality of having cancer. I had cut my hair earlier that week and felt defeated in a way. Again, a step closer to the reality of all of this. It's all still new to me. I am sick. I have cancer. I am a cancer patient. It's weird saying because I often don't believe it. Then I say, I am so young. Why me? It's crazy that I am entering this new world of cancer. You become this VIP of life. There are so many people that have been touched with cancer. It's awful. This disease sucks! But we move on with our lives. I will soon say, I am a cancer survivor. And go about appreciating life even more. I look forward to that day but have been reminded to think in the moment. Focus on each day as it comes. I can't afford to waste energy on "what ifs", "how come", and "what will happen next."
The weekend after chemo, my symptoms kick in. Still no vomiting but extremely sore mouth and fatigue. It hurts to eat and drink. I am broken mentally because I hate how I feel. I speak to my angel, Jenna. She reminds again that it's ok to feel down. That this is a roller coaster. And that again, I should focus on each day and look for the life lessons that come along with it. I am so grateful that she is my angel.
Infusion time!
In preparing for my first chemo session, we get hit with the hottest day of the summer. We don't have our ac units up. Amy, being the wonder woman of a roommate she is, gets the AC units up and sterilizes the apartment. I put all my goodies in my chemo bag (cherry gingham bag that cooper let me borrow). The bag contains:
Black Ninja (stuffed toy given by Cooper)
Lemon Drops (thanks Jenn)
Wonder Woman Barbie Doll (thanks Rose)
"Believe" card (thanks Jenn)
White blanket with the those ball thingys (thanks Jamie)
Lip Balm
MacBook
Picture of my dad
Also, I have been playing phone tag with my cardiologist to hear the results of my Cardiac MRI. On the last vm from her she says to just page her when I get in for chemo.
June 8 2011
Good morning chemo day! Minos takes me to my first infusion. He keeps me laughing and distracted so that's good. I check in. I get called back to get my blood drawn to check my white blood cells, neutrophils and such. 20 minutes later I get called back and get taken to my room. As I am walking back one of the nurses, Diane, comments on my blue nail polish. Then Minos had to mention my toes were painted purple. Diane was not having it. She went around and told all the nurses that my nails weren't matching. Seriously?! It was actually funny and I am leaving a few things out:)
I walk into my room. I set my table up with all the goodies from my bag and call it my inspiration station. I meet my chemo nurse, Celia, for the first time. She actually went to school with Minos so it was quite entertaining to hear some stories. I page Dr. R, my cardiologist. Celia preps my arm and starts my IV and gets me going with the anti-nausea meds. Dr. R calls me back and explains the results of my MRI. The tumor is not pressing on the heart and my ejection fraction is low again. She explains now that we have 2 tests confirming a low ejection fraction and she is wondering if my coronary arteries are "hooked up" wrong. This could be something I was born with. She wants to do a CT scan of my coronary arteries to see if that is the problem. She explains she thinks there is a small chance I have this issue and actually thinks that the disease in the area may be causing the low ejection fraction. She thinks once treatment continues it should go back to normal and that I will need another echo in August to assess the heart again. She then said her nurse will call me to get the CT scheduled.
I finish my anti-nausea meds and my heart meds. It's time for chemo. Celia first puts a sample of the Bleomycin in to see if I have an allergic reaction to it. It's all good.
I get a call from the cardiology nurse and end up having a 30 minute conversation with her as to what I am supposed to do and next appts and such. But as I am talking to her, Celia is waiting to administer my next chemo med Adriamycin which has to be administered by her. I am overwhelmed with all the information about my heart and anxiously waiting for the chemo to begin. They really should have explained all of this to me earlier but it is what it is. Finally, I am done with the heart nurse, take a deep breath, and tell Celia, I am ready! We finish the rest of my session. Minos takes me home. I am feeling great. I am shocked that I ended up having all this energy. The chemo instantly took away all my muscle aches. I couldn't believe it. I thought to myself, this is some crazy shit! I ended up making up 3 songs (they are not that great) but it just showed how well I was feeling. The following day, I worked a full day. Friday, the symptoms started to kick in. Just some fatigue. Saturday through Monday, my mouth felt like I had a mouthful of canker sores with no actual sores. It's a common side effect. Other than that, that's all I experienced. I bounced back that week and got prepared for a huge work event for Friday that I have spent the last four months planning.
During the following week after chemo I also had the CT scan of my arteries. Since I get sick from CT scans, they put me on Prednisone. That drug kept me up all night. I had maybe 3 hours of sleep. Amy takes me to my scan. I get poked once again with needles. They bring me in and I am laying on the bed of the machine. They are giving me beta blockers to help bring my heart rate down. My heart rate has to be in the 60's range for this test. Right now my heart rate is jumping from 80-100. My BP goes down to 93/50. I am freaked out. They are trying to calm me but the funny thing is they were annoying me more than calming me. Ha. I knew I had to relax. So when you keep saying we need your heart rate down, doesn't really help. I also start thinking of my dad and the night we lost him. My low blood pressure triggered that memory. His nurse at that time said once we see his BP (diastolic) drop into the 40's he would slip away fast so be prepared. I couldn't get that thought out of my head and remembered all the emotions I felt that night. I took a few deep breaths and refocused. They pushed more beta blockers and gave me saline to try to balance out the BP and heart rate. They decided to go forward with the test even though my heart rate was in the 70's. I hold my breath (I have to for the scan), I am nervous of throwing up again, they do the scan. I am all finished. I didn't throw up!! Thank God! They said they got some good images. Thank goodness because I did not want to go through that again! They put me in the recovery room and I wait 30 minutes before I am discharged.
Dr. R calls me and says that my arteries are hooked up just fine. And says we really don't have an explanation for the low ejection fraction and we will recheck in August. Alright, now I have this heart thing sorta figured out and now I can just focus on my treatments and getting better. Things should get better. I have read that the hardest part of all of this is the preliminary tests. So far, I would agree. I am just glad that all the tests are done and we are not waiting on anything anymore. It's time to get better, focus on chemo, and take it a day at a time.
Black Ninja (stuffed toy given by Cooper)
Lemon Drops (thanks Jenn)
Wonder Woman Barbie Doll (thanks Rose)
"Believe" card (thanks Jenn)
White blanket with the those ball thingys (thanks Jamie)
Lip Balm
MacBook
Picture of my dad
Also, I have been playing phone tag with my cardiologist to hear the results of my Cardiac MRI. On the last vm from her she says to just page her when I get in for chemo.
June 8 2011
Good morning chemo day! Minos takes me to my first infusion. He keeps me laughing and distracted so that's good. I check in. I get called back to get my blood drawn to check my white blood cells, neutrophils and such. 20 minutes later I get called back and get taken to my room. As I am walking back one of the nurses, Diane, comments on my blue nail polish. Then Minos had to mention my toes were painted purple. Diane was not having it. She went around and told all the nurses that my nails weren't matching. Seriously?! It was actually funny and I am leaving a few things out:)
I walk into my room. I set my table up with all the goodies from my bag and call it my inspiration station. I meet my chemo nurse, Celia, for the first time. She actually went to school with Minos so it was quite entertaining to hear some stories. I page Dr. R, my cardiologist. Celia preps my arm and starts my IV and gets me going with the anti-nausea meds. Dr. R calls me back and explains the results of my MRI. The tumor is not pressing on the heart and my ejection fraction is low again. She explains now that we have 2 tests confirming a low ejection fraction and she is wondering if my coronary arteries are "hooked up" wrong. This could be something I was born with. She wants to do a CT scan of my coronary arteries to see if that is the problem. She explains she thinks there is a small chance I have this issue and actually thinks that the disease in the area may be causing the low ejection fraction. She thinks once treatment continues it should go back to normal and that I will need another echo in August to assess the heart again. She then said her nurse will call me to get the CT scheduled.
I finish my anti-nausea meds and my heart meds. It's time for chemo. Celia first puts a sample of the Bleomycin in to see if I have an allergic reaction to it. It's all good.
I get a call from the cardiology nurse and end up having a 30 minute conversation with her as to what I am supposed to do and next appts and such. But as I am talking to her, Celia is waiting to administer my next chemo med Adriamycin which has to be administered by her. I am overwhelmed with all the information about my heart and anxiously waiting for the chemo to begin. They really should have explained all of this to me earlier but it is what it is. Finally, I am done with the heart nurse, take a deep breath, and tell Celia, I am ready! We finish the rest of my session. Minos takes me home. I am feeling great. I am shocked that I ended up having all this energy. The chemo instantly took away all my muscle aches. I couldn't believe it. I thought to myself, this is some crazy shit! I ended up making up 3 songs (they are not that great) but it just showed how well I was feeling. The following day, I worked a full day. Friday, the symptoms started to kick in. Just some fatigue. Saturday through Monday, my mouth felt like I had a mouthful of canker sores with no actual sores. It's a common side effect. Other than that, that's all I experienced. I bounced back that week and got prepared for a huge work event for Friday that I have spent the last four months planning.
During the following week after chemo I also had the CT scan of my arteries. Since I get sick from CT scans, they put me on Prednisone. That drug kept me up all night. I had maybe 3 hours of sleep. Amy takes me to my scan. I get poked once again with needles. They bring me in and I am laying on the bed of the machine. They are giving me beta blockers to help bring my heart rate down. My heart rate has to be in the 60's range for this test. Right now my heart rate is jumping from 80-100. My BP goes down to 93/50. I am freaked out. They are trying to calm me but the funny thing is they were annoying me more than calming me. Ha. I knew I had to relax. So when you keep saying we need your heart rate down, doesn't really help. I also start thinking of my dad and the night we lost him. My low blood pressure triggered that memory. His nurse at that time said once we see his BP (diastolic) drop into the 40's he would slip away fast so be prepared. I couldn't get that thought out of my head and remembered all the emotions I felt that night. I took a few deep breaths and refocused. They pushed more beta blockers and gave me saline to try to balance out the BP and heart rate. They decided to go forward with the test even though my heart rate was in the 70's. I hold my breath (I have to for the scan), I am nervous of throwing up again, they do the scan. I am all finished. I didn't throw up!! Thank God! They said they got some good images. Thank goodness because I did not want to go through that again! They put me in the recovery room and I wait 30 minutes before I am discharged.
Dr. R calls me and says that my arteries are hooked up just fine. And says we really don't have an explanation for the low ejection fraction and we will recheck in August. Alright, now I have this heart thing sorta figured out and now I can just focus on my treatments and getting better. Things should get better. I have read that the hardest part of all of this is the preliminary tests. So far, I would agree. I am just glad that all the tests are done and we are not waiting on anything anymore. It's time to get better, focus on chemo, and take it a day at a time.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Heart issue...what?!
May 27 2011
The night before Disco Leo gives me a call with the results of my echo and says...
"Noreen, your ejection fraction of your heart is surprisingly low. Normal is 50-60% you are at 35%."
WTF?! What else can go wrong. If I have a heart issue, it changes the whole treatment plan! We are not sure if I fainted because of dehydration or because I may have a heart issue. Um, didn't I go to the freaking ER in December for chest pain?! They said I was fine! Anyway, we get a MUGA scan scheduled for after my bone marrow biopsy. The MUGA will give us a better read on my heart.
Lindsay picks me up and we catch up on the usual. She is such good mom to me:) We get to NW and I get prepped for the bone marrow biopsy. Lindsay went to grab me some food because she wanted to make sure I was eating! The doctor explains how he will go into my iliac crest (or hip bone) and will numb me up. Unfortunately he can't really numb up the area completely because he needs my feedback to tell him when I have pain. He is essentially going in blind and pulling a small little cork of my bone, but as he probes he will hit some nerves in the area. If I feel a sharp pain, I have to say pain, and he retracts the needle and tries again. I'm on my stomach and I can't see everything he is doing but he did a good job of explaining everything to me that I am not too nervous. I feel pressure and discomfort. I'm not crying. Yet. He gets to the "corking" process and I say "Pain", he tries again, "Pain", he tries again "Pain". I start crying. I feel such a weird pressure and pain. He tries again and starts the "corking". I feel like someone is hammering my bone from the inside. He pulls the needle out and says we are done. We got a good piece. First of all, I am lucky that they didn't have to do it on both sides of my hip as some patients do. Lindsay did such a great job of comforting and calming me. I think at one point she wanted to take the Dr. out! Ok, so it wasn't that bad. But I never want to go through that again!
The resident ends up wanting to give me a bag of fluids because I fainted the day before. As I was receiving fluids, my MUGA scan got scheduled. My day started at 11 am at the hospital and now its 3 pm. I go register for the MUGA scan and the front desk says I have no insurance. I get a little pissy and snap. "I've been here like 5 times the past week. I have insurance. It's in the system." I end up calling and sorting it out when the guy could've easily done that for me but whatever. I'm real crabby at this point. I get called back for the MUGA. The nurse explains that the test is about 2 hours. I lose it once again. No one told me how long the test would be. No one said I would have to get poked with needles again. At this point, I feel as if I'm not human. Getting poked and prodded every minute. I am completely frustrated, broken down and sad. On top of that, I was hungry! Luckily, they injected me with some stuff, let me go get a quick bite to eat and then take the scan. Ughhhh! This is getting real old real fast and it hasn't even really started.
I get a phone call the following Wednesday with my MUGA results. 57%! Good. But we can't have 2 tests that don't match up. So Disco Leo orders a cardiac MRI and a consult with a cardiologist. Done and done...
Cardiac MRI on June 4....
I'm scheduled for chemo June 8 and we still don't know what chemo regimen I will be on. ABVD is every other week with no radiation or Standford V every week with radiation.
I get a call from Disco Leo and he says that my cardiologist will follow up with me but they all decided to start with the ABVD treatment along with heart meds.
Next stop is round one of chemo to kill this nasty bitch of a disease!
The night before Disco Leo gives me a call with the results of my echo and says...
"Noreen, your ejection fraction of your heart is surprisingly low. Normal is 50-60% you are at 35%."
WTF?! What else can go wrong. If I have a heart issue, it changes the whole treatment plan! We are not sure if I fainted because of dehydration or because I may have a heart issue. Um, didn't I go to the freaking ER in December for chest pain?! They said I was fine! Anyway, we get a MUGA scan scheduled for after my bone marrow biopsy. The MUGA will give us a better read on my heart.
Lindsay picks me up and we catch up on the usual. She is such good mom to me:) We get to NW and I get prepped for the bone marrow biopsy. Lindsay went to grab me some food because she wanted to make sure I was eating! The doctor explains how he will go into my iliac crest (or hip bone) and will numb me up. Unfortunately he can't really numb up the area completely because he needs my feedback to tell him when I have pain. He is essentially going in blind and pulling a small little cork of my bone, but as he probes he will hit some nerves in the area. If I feel a sharp pain, I have to say pain, and he retracts the needle and tries again. I'm on my stomach and I can't see everything he is doing but he did a good job of explaining everything to me that I am not too nervous. I feel pressure and discomfort. I'm not crying. Yet. He gets to the "corking" process and I say "Pain", he tries again, "Pain", he tries again "Pain". I start crying. I feel such a weird pressure and pain. He tries again and starts the "corking". I feel like someone is hammering my bone from the inside. He pulls the needle out and says we are done. We got a good piece. First of all, I am lucky that they didn't have to do it on both sides of my hip as some patients do. Lindsay did such a great job of comforting and calming me. I think at one point she wanted to take the Dr. out! Ok, so it wasn't that bad. But I never want to go through that again!
The resident ends up wanting to give me a bag of fluids because I fainted the day before. As I was receiving fluids, my MUGA scan got scheduled. My day started at 11 am at the hospital and now its 3 pm. I go register for the MUGA scan and the front desk says I have no insurance. I get a little pissy and snap. "I've been here like 5 times the past week. I have insurance. It's in the system." I end up calling and sorting it out when the guy could've easily done that for me but whatever. I'm real crabby at this point. I get called back for the MUGA. The nurse explains that the test is about 2 hours. I lose it once again. No one told me how long the test would be. No one said I would have to get poked with needles again. At this point, I feel as if I'm not human. Getting poked and prodded every minute. I am completely frustrated, broken down and sad. On top of that, I was hungry! Luckily, they injected me with some stuff, let me go get a quick bite to eat and then take the scan. Ughhhh! This is getting real old real fast and it hasn't even really started.
I get a phone call the following Wednesday with my MUGA results. 57%! Good. But we can't have 2 tests that don't match up. So Disco Leo orders a cardiac MRI and a consult with a cardiologist. Done and done...
Cardiac MRI on June 4....
I'm scheduled for chemo June 8 and we still don't know what chemo regimen I will be on. ABVD is every other week with no radiation or Standford V every week with radiation.
I get a call from Disco Leo and he says that my cardiologist will follow up with me but they all decided to start with the ABVD treatment along with heart meds.
Next stop is round one of chemo to kill this nasty bitch of a disease!
Can I get a side of 4 stitches please?!
May 25-26, 2011
It was a long day scheduled for appts. I had a CT scan of my abdomen to see if the disease had spread. I don't do so well with CT scans. I vomit from the iodine and now this time I had to drink that Barium crap. Oh, it's making me gag just thinking about it! Ugh!!! After that, I had to see Dr. D to assess the wounds from surgery. Then spoke to the social worker and then had a dentist appointment. I started my day at 8 am at NW and it is now 2:30pm. I had maybe a sip of water and a few bites of a sandwich. I was so tired I went to bed. I slept from 4 pm to 7 am the next day! Not a good idea. I woke up, went to the bathroom, walked out. The next thing I remember is waking up on my dining room floor with blood in my hands. I blacked out, fell and busted my chin on the hardwood floors. I actually dented a woodplank and cracked it. I was lying there in my back and luckily Amy was home. I called for her and she came to the rescue. Apparently I had a 5 minute conversation with her and I did not remember any of it. Ha. I had my lung function test and echo scheduled that day but canceled the lung test and made it to the echo for that afternoon. On my way to the hospital, I stopped at Dr. B's office to get my stitches. She ordered at CT scan of my head because I had signs of a concussion. She also wanted to make sure I didn't fracture anything. I got to Northwestern, had the CT of my head (no bleeder and no fractures-I'm so lucky!) and then had my echo. Minos was flirting with the echo technician...he would! I then went home and got ready for my next test for the next day. The dreaded bone marrow biopsy! AHHHHH!
It was a long day scheduled for appts. I had a CT scan of my abdomen to see if the disease had spread. I don't do so well with CT scans. I vomit from the iodine and now this time I had to drink that Barium crap. Oh, it's making me gag just thinking about it! Ugh!!! After that, I had to see Dr. D to assess the wounds from surgery. Then spoke to the social worker and then had a dentist appointment. I started my day at 8 am at NW and it is now 2:30pm. I had maybe a sip of water and a few bites of a sandwich. I was so tired I went to bed. I slept from 4 pm to 7 am the next day! Not a good idea. I woke up, went to the bathroom, walked out. The next thing I remember is waking up on my dining room floor with blood in my hands. I blacked out, fell and busted my chin on the hardwood floors. I actually dented a woodplank and cracked it. I was lying there in my back and luckily Amy was home. I called for her and she came to the rescue. Apparently I had a 5 minute conversation with her and I did not remember any of it. Ha. I had my lung function test and echo scheduled that day but canceled the lung test and made it to the echo for that afternoon. On my way to the hospital, I stopped at Dr. B's office to get my stitches. She ordered at CT scan of my head because I had signs of a concussion. She also wanted to make sure I didn't fracture anything. I got to Northwestern, had the CT of my head (no bleeder and no fractures-I'm so lucky!) and then had my echo. Minos was flirting with the echo technician...he would! I then went home and got ready for my next test for the next day. The dreaded bone marrow biopsy! AHHHHH!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Paging Dr. Gordon (aka Disco Leo)
May 23 2011.
Me, my mom, Ali, Minos, Dr. V, Dr. Gordon.
Let the 2 hour consultation begin...
Throughout this whole "meeting", I am still in disbelief! "I AM NOT A CANCER PATIENT"
We talk about ABVD and Stanford V chemo options, possibility of radiation 2 cycles (months) into treatment (which we are hoping I don't need), potential side effects and late term side effects, relapse, fertility, and so much more.
Ali wrote everything down for me that was discussed and made sure I had asked all the questions I had written down. This was extremely helpful as your mind is everywhere!
We discussed fertility. I am thankful that this was discussed as I soon learned not everyone had the fertility option discussed with them when they were newly diagnosed with cancer. With ABVD, there is a 10% risk of infertility. As the oncofertility specialist explained all my options, I felt real uneasy. I won't go into details but I didn't want to prolong my treatment. If I went with the egg cryo-preservation, I would have to wait an additional 2 more weeks for chemo to get started. See, they shoot you up with hormones, and then do the procedure to retrieve the eggs. Well, when you do the procedure, it also ages your ovaries. I'd rather take the 90% chance and have my ovaries be the age they are supposed to be when that time comes for little noreen's. (Side note, Minos was really intrigued with the female ovulation cycle)
We discussed all the next steps: echo, lung function test, and bone marrow biopsy.
The social worker also discussed all sorts of resources and support groups as I go through this fight.
They main thing I took away from this visit is that Dr. Gordon never said "This cancer is aggressive. You have 6 months". He said "It's curable! It's treatable. It's the best cancer to have if you get any cancers. You will do just fine!" I'm counting on you Disco Leo (Minos came up with that name)!
This is the time where I have to let go and let my medical team take care of me. I don't know what lies ahead. I am scared. I am sad. But I am ready to get back to being myself and shining everyday! I want this disease out of my body! I will not let this disease win! My body and life are way too precious. I have a full life to live, laugh and love!
Me, my mom, Ali, Minos, Dr. V, Dr. Gordon.
Let the 2 hour consultation begin...
Throughout this whole "meeting", I am still in disbelief! "I AM NOT A CANCER PATIENT"
We talk about ABVD and Stanford V chemo options, possibility of radiation 2 cycles (months) into treatment (which we are hoping I don't need), potential side effects and late term side effects, relapse, fertility, and so much more.
Ali wrote everything down for me that was discussed and made sure I had asked all the questions I had written down. This was extremely helpful as your mind is everywhere!
We discussed fertility. I am thankful that this was discussed as I soon learned not everyone had the fertility option discussed with them when they were newly diagnosed with cancer. With ABVD, there is a 10% risk of infertility. As the oncofertility specialist explained all my options, I felt real uneasy. I won't go into details but I didn't want to prolong my treatment. If I went with the egg cryo-preservation, I would have to wait an additional 2 more weeks for chemo to get started. See, they shoot you up with hormones, and then do the procedure to retrieve the eggs. Well, when you do the procedure, it also ages your ovaries. I'd rather take the 90% chance and have my ovaries be the age they are supposed to be when that time comes for little noreen's. (Side note, Minos was really intrigued with the female ovulation cycle)
We discussed all the next steps: echo, lung function test, and bone marrow biopsy.
The social worker also discussed all sorts of resources and support groups as I go through this fight.
They main thing I took away from this visit is that Dr. Gordon never said "This cancer is aggressive. You have 6 months". He said "It's curable! It's treatable. It's the best cancer to have if you get any cancers. You will do just fine!" I'm counting on you Disco Leo (Minos came up with that name)!
This is the time where I have to let go and let my medical team take care of me. I don't know what lies ahead. I am scared. I am sad. But I am ready to get back to being myself and shining everyday! I want this disease out of my body! I will not let this disease win! My body and life are way too precious. I have a full life to live, laugh and love!
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